


double double

by Nil1701



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Coffee, Hux is a grump, M/M, Ren is a manchild, crack ish, this was so unnecessary why did i write this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2017-07-09
Packaged: 2018-05-31 07:08:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6460651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nil1701/pseuds/Nil1701
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ren becomes a coffee addict. Hux hates every minute of it until he actually doesn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. why did i write this part 1

The first time he tries it, it’s at Hux’s suggestion. He looks disinterested, blasé, even, as he takes a drag from his cigarette and strongly suggests that Ren drink a coffee or two -- that it would make him “considerably more pleasant.” It seems a little stupid to think that a beverage could _do_ that, but Kylo keeps an open mind.

It tastes like tar, or what he imagines tar would taste like. He sputters a bit, coughs, and a few officers look up from their trays of bland cafeteria food. The aftertaste is even worse, and Ren is confounded. Why do people drink _that_? Why would that make anyone considerably more pleasant, when it, itself, is so entirely _unpleasant_?

Later that afternoon, he hovers in front of Hux’s tidy desk, clasping and unclasping his hands behind his back. Hux is surrounded by various stacks of papers, and seems unaware of his presence.

“So,” He says, rolling on the balls of his feet.

There is a deafening silence that seems to last a very long time until Hux drags his gaze up very slowly and sets his datapad on the desk in a manner that could be interpreted as aggressive. “Is there something you _want_ , Ren?”

Kylo leans forward, flattening his hands on the desk and crumpling a few papers accidentally, oblivious to the venom in Hux’s tone. He doesn’t seem to catch the way Hux’s jaw tightens. “I tried it, like you said.”

“Tried _what_?”

“The coffee, I tried it.” He says, hushed, as though letting Hux in on some fantastical secret. Kylo looks at him expectantly with his big, brown eyes. It’s a thrilling tale, but Hux doesn’t seem as excited as he should be. He’s just doing that blinky thing. Kylo knows that thing. He usually does it when he’s angry at Mitaka for making his tea wrong.

Finally, Kylo can’t contain himself. “It was _really_ bad.” He says, sliding closer and creasing more papers. Hux startles, leaning away from Kylo’s intrusion.

“Get your hands off those papers, and get _out_ of my office.”

Kylo steps back, glancing down at the mess of crumpled papers. “You look mad. Are you mad?”

Hux opens his mouth, closes it. Pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs, squeezing his eyes shut. “Yes, it would _seem_ so.”

“Sorry about your papers.” Kylo says, chewing on his bottom lip out of anxious habit. After a few minutes of silence, he turns to leave.

“Ren—” He can hear a slow, controlled exhale. “Try it with cream.”

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

The second time he tries it, he discovers that everything he thought about coffee was a lie. Truly, Ren never knew something could transform so dramatically with the addition of a dairy product. He sits alone in silent wonderment, surrounded by empty paper cups and several wary looking stormtroopers that have witnessed his monumental revelation.

Hux _definitely_ needs to hear about this.

But the thing is, he seems really put out. Kylo doesn’t understand why, either, since he was really careful not to touch his papers or anything.

“I’m terribly busy, Ren.” He says shortly, not bothering to look up from his datapad. Kylo deliberates, and then plunks down in the chair across from Hux’s desk.

“Ren.”

“Yeah?”

“Did you hear what I said?”

“Yeah.”

“I said I—I said I was _terribly busy_ , Ren.”

“Yeah.” Kylo repeats, drumming his fingers on the armrest distractedly. “But listen—I tried what you said. I added cream. It was actually a lot better. I drank ten.”

Hux slams his datapad down and rises from his chair, sending a few of his papers flying. “I don’t care if you drink forty seven coffees, Ren. I don’t care if you drink tea, I don’t care _how_ you drink your coffee. I don’t care if you drink your coffee with milk, or sugar, or if you drink it at _all_ , Ren, because I am _terribly busy._ ”

“Wait,” Kylo looks up at him, amazement filling his eyes. “ _Sugar_?”

**Author's Note:**

> look pals,,, I'm sorry for writing this because there is literally no reason this should have been written
> 
> definitely going to keep writing it anyways


End file.
